Growth

"I planted the seed. Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow...." 1 Corinthians 3:7

Perhaps the places in us that are most resistant to change, and growth are the places that mask our pain. We need to go there, let go and receive life's undercurrent. Only then can we resolve our pain, as fertilizer to make our hearts grow in love, courage, and acts of service...

Just in your time...

The Clock is ticking,
but you sit in the sand
and watch me play, struggle,
run, perhaps I am young.
But there's no hurry in you.
You wait till I believe myself
into it, and you trust I will
one day.

The clock is still ticking,
and you hold the world
in your strong hands, and even
my beat-up dreams become
a reality just in your time...

"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance character, and character hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who had been given to us..."Romans 5:3-5

What are the safe seasons?

Catching my eye
a little doe lifts her foot in the air
then touches the earth with determination,
another step of the dance,
a ritual proclaiming,
"This is my space, my dining hall, my dance floor."
Gazing with respect, love, and wonder,
a tiny sadness surges through me
as I remember how I, too,
have learned steps to a fearful dance,
casting glances over my shoulder,
not quite at ease in my being,
always yearning for a safer season,
ready to dance back into my forest of protection.
Where are the safe seasons?
Do you know?

---Macrina Wiederkehr

Psalm 65

Praise awaits you, our God, in Zion;
to you our vows will be fulfilled.
You who answer prayer,
to you all people will come.
When we were overwhelmed by sins,
you forgave our transgressions.
Blessed are those you choose
and bring near to live in your courts!
We are filled with good things of
your house,
of your holy temple.
You answer us with awesome and
righteous deeds,
God our Savior,
the hope of all the ends of the earth
and of the farthest seas,
who formed the mountains by your
power, having armed yourself
with strength,
who stilled the roaring of the seas,
the roaring of their waves,
and the turmoil of the nations.
The whole earth is filled with awe at
your wonders;
where morning dawns, where evening fades,
you call forth songs of joy..."

Psalm 65

Drumming the Rivers

Denied the musical instruments
reserved to men, Zaire women
play the rivers like drums,
beating tempos on the waters,
chanting rhythms slapped on waves.

Without score, without concert hall,
without formal black silk gown,
beneath feathery palm silhouettes
they ply the shining surface, an arc
of droplets flying from their hands.

Over loads of laundry, foam bubbling
on bare arms in the African morning,
they do not discuss oppression. Fluid,
spontaneous, they sing the liquid words
and drum the vibrant pulse of liberation.

Poem for South African Women (June Jordan) quoted in Kathleen Fischer, Women at the Well.

A Time for Everything

"There is a time for everthing, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace...." Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

What season are you in? What activities are you engaged in? Perhaps these are questions that we need to answer as one chapter ends and a new one begins. Where am I? Where does my work lie? Perhaps we are grieving the loss of a season that we have enjoyed and are timidly embracing a new season?

What are my expectations for this season? What new activities will appear like a blossom in the shade, perhaps miraculous in revealing and knowing the true creator, the true parent of our souls. I begin to watch and wonder for all to unfold, like a little girl twirling in the sun. I worship you, my father, my son!

You Robbed Me!

You robbed me of my dreams
You robbed me!

You robbed me of time to develop and
Use my gifts...
You robbed me!

You robbed me of my passion/and my fire.
You robbed me!

You robbed me of desire
You robbed me!

You robbed me of joy and laughter
You robbed me!

You robbed me of my fight.
You robbed me!

You robbed me of my Dad and his presence..
You robbed me!

You robbed me of clarity of mind and thoughts.
You robbed me!

You robbed me of my voice...
You robbed!

You robbed me
but I have a choice!

So tonight, I'm gonna dream my dreams anyway....But tonight Im gonna use my gifts anyway,
And tonight I'm gonna light this fire anyway, Yes tonight I'm gonna cry out desire anyway. So tonight i'm gonna blossom into joy anyway, and tonight i'm gonna fight this fight my way,

because you robbed me and I'm pissed off!

And so, we groan and we wonder.

"The battles God calls us to, the woundings and cripplings of soul and body we all receive, cannot simply be ascribed to our sin and foolishness, or even to the sin and foolishness of others. When Jesus and the disciples were on the road one day, they came upon a man who had been blind since birth. "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents?" they asked him. "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." And with that, Jesus spat on the ground, made some mud to place on the man's eyes, and healed him (John 9: 1-7).

Many of us who are reading these words have not yet received God's healing. The display of God's works through our wounds, losses, and sufferings is yet to be revealed. And so, we groan and we wonder."

Brent Curtis-The Sacred Romance

A prayer for marriage

Repentance to bring blessing...

"Take words with you and return to the Lord. Say to him: 'Forgive all our sins and receive us graciously, that we may offer the fruit of our lips. Assyria cannot save us; we will not mount warhorses. We will never again say "Our gods" to what our own hands have made, for in you the fatherless find compassion." (Father, I pray that the hearts of the married will return to you. That you would forgive us our sins towards you and to each other. That you would look upon our fatherlessness and administer compassion).

I will heal their waywardness and love them freely, for my anger has turned away from them. I will be like the dew to Israel; he will blossom like a lily. Like a cedar of Lebanon he will send down his roots; his young shoots will grow. His splendor will be like an olive tree, his fragrance like a cedar of Lebanon. (Father, love us freely. Unshroud us in our pain, shame, self-pity, and self-hatred. Bring us life that will blossom and shoot up! Grow our roots that we will be centered and grounded deep in you).

People will dwell again in his shade; they will flourish like the grain, they will blossom like the vine-Israel's fame will be like the wine of Lebanon.

Ephraim, what more have I to do with idols? I will answer him and care for him. I am like a flourishing juniper; your fruitfulness comes from me." (God, that we may cast away our idols, and cling to only you. That through your cross we may taste our fruit, and experience the sweetness and joy of it!)

Who is wise? Let them realize these things. Who is discerning? Let them understand. The ways of the Lord are right; the righteous walk in them, but the rebellious stumble in them. (God, grant us depth of understanding and insight into your word, that it may guard our hearts, our marriages and our lives. In Jesus name! Cover us!!!)

Hosea 14

A Fuller Life

" It is the branch that bears the fruit,
that feels the knife
To prune it for a larger growth,
A fuller life.

Though every budding twig be lopped,
And every grace
Of swaying tendril, springing lead,
be lost a space,

O thou whose life of joy seems reft,
Of beauty shorn;
Whose aspirations like in dust,
All bruised and torn,

Rejoice, tho' each desire, each dream,
Each hope of thine
Shall fall and fade, it is the hand
Of Love Divine

That holds the knife, that cuts and breaks
with tenderest touch,
that thou, whose life has borne some fruit
May'st now bear much."--Annie Johnson Flint

Life is for learning Agape Love!

Agape love never fails!
Though there be wealth, it shall rust and decay.
Though there be fame, it shall sink into oblivion.
Though there be political power and supremacy,
it shall burst like a bubble.
Though there be military might, it shall crumble.
Though there be tongues of eloquence, they shall be stilled.
Though there be beauty of face and form, it shall fade.
But love is forever.

Where hoary time shall be no more,
When earthly thrones and kingdoms fall,
When the Ancient of Days is set upon His Judgment Seat,
When angel harps are stilled and heaven's silence
fills the universe,
Love will still be young.

When the last plane has made its flight,
The last satellite circled the globe,
The last rocket has been launched;
When the debris of the melting cosmos
has been swept afar
by the fiery tempest of God's wrath;
When the new heaven and earth leap from
the matrix of the ages-
Love will still be in its infancy.
It will never grow old, never fade, never decay.
It is life's superlative goal.
It is divine.
Therefore, make love your aim! -Anonymous

(Don't Waste Your Sorrows, Paul Billheimer)

Today I walked

Today I walked and what did I see?

Monuments of war,
remnants of countries,
broken cities,
reminders of children
and American tragedies.
Chapels of grace and freedom,
purple magnificent flowers,
overcast shadows, and
people of all faces.

I'm noticing. I'm reflecting. I'm praying. I'm leading. I'm certain that you are here and in the midst of all of these little ones. These cloaked and tattered fences, I climb and stand amazed by your tearing down of defenses by a simple act of love. Street love, just showing up and having a conversation.

Contemplation & Community

"Thus, contemplation is not simply about God and me. It is also about God and the community of faith of which I am a part. It follows, then, that community is not simply about serving, it is also about prayer. Community is not only about connection, it is also about withdrawal. It is not only about doing, but also about interceding.

Healthy community is not only about externalization but also about internalization. It is as much about the inner life as it is about relationships and seeking to serve the wider society."

(The Seeking Heart, Charles R. Ringma)

The Broken Violin

"In that day I will restore David's fallen tent. I will repair its broken places, restore its ruins, and build it as it used to be." Amos 9:10-12

"The principle, value, and use of brokenness even in this present order of things is illustrated by J.R. Miller in one of his books. He tells of a world-famous violinist who hired the services of the most renowned violin maker of his day. At t he time appointed, the violinist returned to take delivery of the instrument he had authorized. Taking it in his hands, he skillfully drew the bow across the strings. Great disappointment swept over his face. The quality of tone did not satisfy his artistic ear. Raising the violin over his head, he smashed it to pieces on the table, paid the agreed price, and left.

After a period of time the artist again visited the violin maker. Picking up a violin that was lying on the table, once again he drew the bow across the strings. This time he was charmed by the ravishing beauty of the tone. With astonishment he learned that this was the same violin he had broken to bits. The violin maker had painstakingly gathered up the pieces of the shattered instrument and, skillfully assembling them, had made again the broken violin. Now the beauty and brilliance of its tone met the exacting demand of the artist's ear." (Don't Waste your Sorrows, Paul E. Billheimer).

The violin may not look the same, but the music it plays is all the sweeter. Thus, is the gift of brokenness.

A Soldier

I'm thinking of what it means to be a soilder of the Lord. I know we are called to fight, to fight on behalf of ourselves, and on behalf of others. How do we take up arms? Is it to worship, to read the Word, or to serve? Is it to dance out, cry out, shake your fists in the atmosphere and pray that the spirit within will put the enemy to flight. Is it to love courageously and freely?

"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." 1 John 4:4

Listen to Amy Carmichael's soldiers prayer:

"From prayer that asks that I may be
Sheltered from winds that beat on Thee,
From fearing when I should aspire,
From faltering when I should climb
higher,
From silken self, O Captain, free
Thy soldier who would follow Thee.

From subtle love of softening things,
From easy choices, weakenings,
(Not thus are spirits fortified,
Not this way went the crucified).
From all that dims Thy Calvary,
O Lamb of God, deliver me.

Give me the love that leads the way,
The faith that nothing can dismay,
The hope no disappointments tire,
The passion that will burn like fire.
Let me not sink to be a clod:
Make me Thy fuel, Flame of God."

Emerging Joy!

"When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dreamed. Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, 'The Lord has done great things for them.' The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy. Restore our fortunes, Lord, like streams in the Negev. Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them." Psalm 126

Finding Joy is digging deeper than you think.
Soil dark, leaves crisp.
Tending, pruning, plucking hidden remains.
Light emerging, tender growth,
Flowers blooming , seeds shooting...
Sharp contrast! It sprouts out!
And all the while the dirt is muddy,
Your hands are messy, but life
comes forth. This color scheme
from deepest green.
Wondering? Soar the elements!
Planting, watering from height
and depth, feeling this life, living
this death. And the two emerging
joy from pain? Comrades different,
yet the same...Lord of all creation!

Fertile Land

"What kind of land do they live in? Is it good or bad? What kind of towns do they live in? Are they unwalled or fortified? How is the soil? Is it fertile or poor? Do your best to bring back some of the fruit of the land." (It was the season for the first ripe grapes.) Numbers 13: 19-20

Why is land so important to God? "God the creator, Genesis tells us, 'looked at everything he had made, and he found it very good.' We recognize this goodness in the fertility of the soil, natural harbors, scenic beauty, the availability of water, and the subsurface riches of coal, oil, gold, iron and other substances. The land has a God-given goodness and is one of the gifts through which God sustains us." (Combating Modern-day Feudalism: Land as God's gift by Walter Rybeck and Ronald Pasquariello).

Why did God say he was giving the Israelites the land of Canaan, but they had to go take possession of it? Perhaps God was testing their belief in the Sovereignty of His Word and Promises. "Do you hear how Israel transgressed and offended God? Do you see their unbelief? Do you notice how they accused God of going back on His Word? Yes, on that day, the Israelites sinned greatly because they did not belive God's promise to give them the land of Canaan. They did not believe what God had promised Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, and Moses. They were like so many today who say, "We believe in God and the prophets!" yet they do not really believe God and they do not believe the prophets, because they do not believe what God has promised through His prophets in the Holy Scriptures! Unbelief is a terrible sin before God." (Israelites Unbelief, TWOR@iname.com).

I'm reminded of Caleb and Joshua. Out of all the Israelites, they were the only two from their generation that God would allow to enter into the promise land. Of Caleb He said, "I will give him and his descendants the land he set his feet on, because he followed the Lord wholeheartedly." Deuteronomy 1:36

God wanted to give the Israelites a fuitful, fortified, and fertile land, but there were obstacles they needed to overcome. What are the obstacles you are facing today that may be inhibiting you to receive the promise of God for your life?

Romance

"I delight greatly in the Lord;
my soul rejoices in my God,
For he has clothed me with garments of
salvation and has arrayed me
in a robe of his righteousness,
as a bridgegroom adorns his head
like a priest, and as a bridge adorns
herself with her jewels.
For as the soil makes the sprout come up
and a garden causes seeds to grow,
so the Sovereign Lord will make
righteousness and praise spring
up before all nations." Isaiah 61: 10-11

This chapter reminds me of worship, marriage, and travel. I guess the romance of life.

I know it's really about a sacred romance. I find the romance in worship as I call out to my beloved to delight in me, and he calls back that he delights in me and more than that! I commune deeply during worship as the Lord dances over me with words and spirit drawing me nearer to him...

I think of the romance of my wedding: secretly waiting for my betrothed, washing, dressing, and preparing to meet him. Being brought to him and given to him. Pronouncing love and vows that the promise of death will only separate. The intensity of the eyes meeting with just the two of us, but in a room full of captive people...waiting to celebrate our union!

I think of the romance of travel. The beauty, color and lushness of culture. The wonder of new language and new people. The mystery and greatness of God hovering over each country and expressing his attributes, his uniqueness, his diversity in such subtle and at times dramatic ways!

Yes, I'm reminded of the romance of God today. I am in Worship. I am in Marriage. I am in Culture, and I am dancing in wonder in these places. Thank you God for inviting me to dance, to worship and to express what your heart is speaking to mine. I am in love with you and I desire you above all else! Spring Up Oh Lord! The Bride, and The Nations are captivated by you!

To Be Human

I've been asking myself what does it mean to be fully human, but also realizing we have the Spirit of God living in us.

I did a word search in the Bible on the word Human and this is what I came up with:

to have being
living
body
sickness
power
kindness
sacrifice
decisions
testimony
standards
origin
form
nature
man/woman
argument
terms
ancestry
wisdom
court
point of view
reasons
heart
effort
covenant
likeness
traditions
commands
death/birth
Father/Mother

These are all aspects of being human...

Lord, make us more fully human, as Jesus was fully human and filled with all the wisdom, stature and favor of God.

Amen

Transference

"Transference occurs when a person takes the perceptions and expectations of one person and projects them onto another person. They interact with the other person as if the other person is that transferred pattern.

In the way we tend to become the person that others assume we are, the person who has patterns transferred onto them may collaborate and play the game, especially if the transference gives them power or makes them feel good in some way.

Typically, the pattern projected onto the other person comes from a childhood relationship. This may be from an actual person, such as parent, or idealized figure or prototype. This transfers both power and also expectation. If you treat me as a parent, I can tell you what to do, but you will also expect me to love and care for you. This can have both positive and negative outcomes" (ChangingMinds.org).

"Extreme forms of transference can turn into full-blown obsession if not dealt with. Transference meltdowns can result in accidents, dangerous choices, nightmares, fantasies, stalking someone, psychotic reaction, and sometimes violence" (Transference: Are you a biological time machine? Michael G. Conner Psy.D.)

This is an incredibly challenging area of relationships. We need the grace to take back the transference and to submit it to Christ and possibly to others depending on the nature and intensity of the feelings and expectations. This is very bold indeed, but very wise and useful for building up the body of Christ instead of tearing it down...This is indeed a labor of love and will be rewarded!

Pruning

"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. John 15: 1-2

"Pruning is essentially the act of discarding old plant materials to allow the plant's resources to build new growth. Another way of saying that is when a plant has been alive awhile it usually has parts that are older and less vibrant than other parts of the plant. You probably have seen plants that look tired and have a dichotomy of looks. Part of the plant looks vibrant and green and other parts look dark green or brown.

This is due to the fact that these older "stems" are not able to maintain what is fed to them by the root system as well as they once could.

The idea is to identify branches or stems that are dead or have slowed down in their functioning. Once they are identified, then it is time to remove them by cutting them off...

What now happens is that the root system can more easily feed what is left on the vegetation or the plant/ that is the stems and/or branches.

So pruning then is the the act of removing damaged or old foliage from a plant in order to strengthen it. This ongoing procedure will make a garden or landscape get stronger and stronger." - How and Why we Must Prune Plants (published March 05, 2009 by Gary Davis).

Father God, we know that you are the good gardener and that you want us to be strong in you and to occupy the land. You want us to grow to be vibrant, and to flourish like a beautiful landscape. I pray that we could participate in the pruning process of our lives, so that these things could be true of us. We love you and we trust your gentle, yet firm loving hand...Guide us as only you can...

The Cracked Pot

A water-bearer in India had two large pots. Each hung on opposite end of a pole that he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other one was perfect. The perfect pot always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house. The cracked pot arrived only half-full. Every day for two full years, the water-bearer delivered only one and a half pots of water.

After the second year of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, the unhappy cracked pot spoke to the water-bearer one day by the stream.

"I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."

"Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of ?"

"I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house," the cracked pot said.

The water-bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion, he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path." Indeed, as they went up the hill, the cracked pot took notice of the beautiful wildflowers on the side of the path, bright in the sun's glow, and the sight cheered the pot up a bit.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, not on the other pot's side? That is because I have always known about your flaw, and I have taken advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day, as we have walked back from the stream, you have watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are , he would not have had this beauty to grace his house."

The story of the cracked pot is from an unknown source in India and is found in Brennan Manning's book: Reckless Trust

God, I thank you for the flaws and that you take advantage of them...Help us to see the life and beauty that stems from your cross as we submit the flaws, cracks, and weaknesses to you....

ONLY A FEW FIND IT!

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." Matthew 7:13-14

I was thinking about what it means to be in relationship with Jesus today. I guess, when I was young in faith I was so focused on the fact that Jesus saved me out of sin. That is very true and daily I am reminded of my need of Jesus to save me from what is a lie...

Though the older I get and the more I am in touch with my reality, need, and struggle, and the more I have encountered personal failure and crises in my life, I now realize that Jesus did come to save me from my sin and self-centeredness, but the goal for his coming, or the higher purpose to which he was called was to speak, give birth, and deliver a message of Life in, over, around and among us. He came to resurrect what was once dead in us in order to bring life to us and others. He came to challenge us to find Life in and around him, in and around us, and in and around those beloved and sometimes lost ones among us...

This should be the goal towards a Life worth fighting for....

"I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10

"Jesus said to her, I am the resurrection and the life..." John 11:25

"Jesus answered, I am the way and the truth and the life." John 14:6

Begin today and ask yourself, what does it mean to have more life?? Then wait on Jesus...and when he answers you run towards that life!!!

The Sower

"He told them another parable: The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches." Matthew 13:31-31

Whatever you have that is small (which could be so many things) entrust it to God, by planting it, watering it, and nourishing it and in God's time and God's way it will grow into something special for you and hopefully for others...

I want to learn how to garden. If anyone out there could help me. I'd appreciate it!!!

A Detached Heart

God wants us to live with a detached heart-Detached from all people, places and things....When your heart is bound up in God alone you can go anywhere, do anything, engage anyone....

(When I say detached, I mean a heart with good boundaries...Please Pray for me in this area!!!)

"To be able to enjoy fully the many good things the world has to offer, we must be detached from them. To be detached does not mean to be indifferent or uninterested. It means to be nonpossessive. Life is a gift to be grateful for and not a property to cling to." Henri Nouwen

Broken Body

I was thinking of Jesus' Broken Body yesterday and was reminded of the words:

"For I received from the Lord what I also passed on to you. The Lord Jesus on the night he was betrayed, took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, "This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me...

In the same way, after supper he took the cup, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood, do this, whenever you drink it in remembrance of me..."

In taking communion we receive his death, the broken body, but also his life (the blood) the new wine...There is death and resurrection in communion Life and offering!!!

God, how much I want more Life in and with You!!!

I could have danced today...

I feel my heart awakening; coming alive...
I listened to a song, and was reminded
of a previous time and I remembered
the movement of that time, that song,
that dance...I could have danced today,
but instead I stopped still and listened
to my need: to be seen, and to be
acknowledged...I could have danced
today in the midst of that need and
acknowledged publicly my true
reality...